Magic Words

via Film Critic / "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"
The man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck, and can turn the head any way she wants.

I've finally convinced Mr. H that we had to have "Smile" as our first dance. HOORAY!

We've had the majority of our music discussions while on the road visiting our families, since there's not much distraction and we have time to kill. While in my hometown, Mr. Hyena and I decided to grab lunch at Taco Bueno. (Bryan/College Station has no Taco Bueno, FOR SHAME.) This may or may not have influenced his decision-making, knowing that a delicious Wholotta Platta was coming his way. I had YouTube up on my iPhone so we could listen to songs, and I casually mentioned that I still liked "Smile" as an option. He couldn't remember which one that was, so I casually looked it up (it was already loaded) and played it for him.

"It's nice," he commented.

Then I uttered the magic five words: "It makes me really happy."

Well of course, smart fiancés ALWAYS want to keep their ladyfolk happy, and Mr. H is one smart cookie, so he agreed. And I think it's grown on him a lot since then. He's bought it on iTunes and has sung parts of it to me a few times. He says it's very "us." Exactly!

Have you had to talk your fiancé into anything wedding-related? How did it go? Or better yet, has he had to talk you into anything?

The Hands Around the Corner

I like the idea of the first look for getting photos out of the way, but it was a pretty easy decision to nix it. Mr. Hyena wanted to see me for the first time as I walked down the aisle, and I'd always imagined that moment too, with an uncontrollable grin on each of our faces. I don't want to lose that moment.

The downside of not having a first look is that I have some slight anxiety problems. It would be wonderful to be able to see Mr. Hyena and hug him and talk to him prior to the ceremony, because I am calmed when I am with him. I thought there was no alternative: either you did a first look or you didn't have any contact prior to the ceremony.

Then a friend of mine got married. She didn't see her now-husband before the ceremony either. And I freaking LOVE these pictures.

Photos by Visuality Photography, via my friend's Facebook page. Used with her permission.

Mr. H and I discussed this idea, and he was totally on board. When friends ask us if we're doing a first look, he replies, "No, but we're holding hands around the corner!" I'm glad he's as excited as I am, and we'll still get some cute pictures out of it!

via Offbeat Bride / Photo by Gina Keiffer, A Truth Be Shown Photography

Are you forgoing the first look in lieu of something else? Or am I the only one? :)

Newspaper Inspiration

Back in my high school days, I wanted to be a journalist. I was working a crummy job as a sacker at a grocery store, and at 16 I was already over it. I wanted a job that would get me places, dammit!

So I found a local newspaper and got myself hired as a copyeditor. I loved everything about working there, so when I went off to college, the first thing I did was apply to work at the campus newspaper as well. I realized soon enough I loved editing more than reporting, and that all these reporting classes were not up my alley at all, so I switched majors. I never did get the newspaper bug out of my system though; there's something about it that I love! Maybe we'll incorporate some into the wedding, maybe not. But I had to look and see what ideas are out there. :)

A cute purse to hold all your wedding day essentials? Ecoist has TONS of 'em created from recycled newspapers, candy wrappers, snack bags, etc. I actually have this little newspaper clutch already... :)

via Ecoist

Newspaper as a background for some cool wall art for the reception. To me, this looks like it could be something you put up behind the bar or buffet:

via Once Wed / Photos by featherlove

Newspaper as the backdrop for some cool B&W ring shots (bonus if the paper is from the day of the wedding!):

via Mode Weddings / Photo by Mode Wedding Photographers

Funny story. Bridesmaid A lived next door to me when we lived in the dorms freshman year of college. Her now-husband was the night editor at the campus paper where I worked. I introduced them, and therefore MY NAME WAS ON THEIR GROOM'S CAKE! Their wedding was almost two years ago, and I am still so pumped about that.

Groom's cake / photo by Bridesmaid J, who did their wedding photography

Cake topper people! I can't decide if we need a cake topper or not, but this is just plain adorable.

via 100 Layer Cake / Photo by Caroline Tran

The rest of these are not newspaper, per se, but it would be pretty easy to visualize them as such. Like, newspaper covered votives?

via Bridal Buzz / from Etsy shop Carolina Cottage

Or how about giant letters for decor? Picture black and white text with the ribbons as the big POP! of color.

via 100 Layer Cake

What nontraditional elements are you bringing into your wedding?

Anxiety

I've hinted around about this a bit, but I'd like to delve in deeper today. I've been sitting on an article I read on A Practical Wedding, called "Weddings, Marriage, Love & Anxiety." It's beautiful, and you should read it.

I've been a worrier all my life. Not about realistic things that actually have a possibility of happening, but about things that are very unlikely and illogical. I've lived with it a long time, and it's just a part of myself that I am always working to control. Most of the time it isn't a big deal.

Sometime in college, though, I started developing a deeper general anxiety. Where I used to love being the center of attention (I was in all the middle school plays, I sang at retirement homes for my school community service, I participated in dance competitions and recitals), I developed a crippling fear of not having an "escape route" from any situation I found myself in. I rarely needed these escape routes, but I was comforted knowing that I had a way out if I needed it.

Before you think I'm totally crazypants, I knew this was not a healthy obsession, so I started going to therapy during my senior year of college. Matt has always been so supportive of whatever I've needed to do to get over some of my fears. I'm finding my anxious episodes are fewer and further between, but I've been told they may never go away entirely. In most situations, I no longer feel the need to have an escape route, but I have one point of anxiety that I haven't been able to allay:

I'm nervous about our wedding ceremony, because there's no escape route up on the altar.

Now, when I linked the article above, I wanted it to be very clear that anxiety does not prevent us from loving, and marrying, and living happily ever after. I have no anxiety regarding marrying Matt. I have 110% faith. If we could get married tomorrow, I would be all over that (and then I wouldn't have time to think about getting anxious). It's simply the location: a ridiculous worry!

(And because I know my future family reads this: No, I am not going to dash back up the aisle. I will be fine. I'm usually more nervous thinking about possibly being anxious than I actually am when I'm in a situation I worried about! And also, Matt and I have discussed this, and we have figured out a pre-ceremony somethin' that I think will be helpful. But that's another post.)

Were you nervous before your ceremony? How do you distract yourself when you start worrying?

Not Living Together

When I read wedding blogs, it sometimes seems like Mr. Hyena and I are the only engaged couple who aren't living together prior to the wedding.

We had the opportunity; right after we got engaged, we purchased a house. We talked about moving in together, since it would only have been about a year before we would be married. Both sets of parents were on board, but for some reason, it didn't feel like the right order of things for us. So we passed. I maintained my current residence with my kitty-boo, while he moved into the house and got a roommate for the school year.

personal photo, text added by moi

This arrangement works out fine for us. Sure it'd be nice to not have to drive back and forth to see each other. Sure, it'd be nice to have the DVR at my house. And sure, I would really like to be able to go ahead and decorate our house the way I want. Of course I'm already slowly moving things in ("Honey, I'm helping you by moving all my books in now. That means you won't have to lift so many heavy boxes later!"), but for the most part, I'm enjoying the last months of having my own space.

Some of my favorite things about having my own space:

• I can keep my house as clean — or as messy — as I want without anyone getting mad. (Except me. I get mad at myself sometimes, when my house looks really bad.)
• I don't have to worry about the expenses of a combined household yet. I can continue to be neurotic about my money while shopping for things he will never understand (a Slap Chop for a friend's birthday? Duh).
• Decorating! Apparently when I move in with a boy I can't make stuff girly anymore. Sniff.

On the other hand, I will also be glad for the moving-in-together phase when it comes after the wedding. I've heard it is difficult to make all these transitions simultaneously, but I guess that's a challenge we'll face as it comes.

Anyone else not living with your fiancé before the wedding? What is your favorite thing about living on your own? Any advice on how to make all these transitions easier?

Boutie-licious

I failed to find out what Mr. H was looking for in man-flowers until after I did my first round of flower shopping. When I finally did ask (er, bug him endlessly), he said he wanted a single white rose with baby's breath for the dudes. Okay, that shouldn't be too difficult in theory.

I found the perfect flowers for our corsages and boutonnieres at Hobby Lobby. I didn't have the first clue about how to put these suckers together, but a search on the 'Bee brought up a couple of tutorials, which I used as a jumping off point. I started with the bouts since they seemed less scary than the corsages. As I was working on these, I wondered how some brides can figure out how to do this with real flowers the day before their wedding without freaking out.

I gathered my supplies:

• Approx. 1-inch thick ribbon

• Artificial ivory roses, one per bout (save the leaves)

• Artificial baby's breath

• Artificial berries

• Hot glue gun

• Scissors

• Wire cutters

• Netflix movie to keep you entertained (it took me a long time to get the hang of this project)

Step 1: Trim your rose to a more manageable size (stem should be about two or three inches so there is room to hot glue things to the stem).

Step 2: Cut a sprig of baby's breath and hot glue it to the side in an attractive manner.

Step 3: Repeat step 2, but with berries.

Steps 1-3

Step 4: Take the leftover leaves from the flowers. I only wanted to have one leaf, so those other two gotta go.

BAM!

Step 4 continued: Hot glue the leaf to the back of the boutonniere, still gluing directly onto the stem. I tried to hot glue the leaf right onto the flower, but that didn't want to stick. I'm still trying to figure out how to make it stand up the way I want it. H-Dad recommended epoxy?

Step 5: Now that everything is attached to the main stem, trim it down further so it's normal-boutonniere sized.

Step 6: Starting at the base, hot glue the end of the ribbon and attach to the stems, then wrap upward. Secure with more hot glue.

Step 7: Repeat steps 1-6 for each bout (we needed nine). Bask in the triumph of another completed floral project.

Hooray! I love them! They look so good! I am awesome!

Now I just need to figure out the corsages. I read somewhere that a corsage is just a bunch of boutonnieres stuck together, but that seems like it'd be awfully large. Also, I'm using ranunculus for the corsages, and those are somewhat big on their own. I sense an adventure!

Once I get the corsages completed, I think I'll be done with all our flowers, so I'll put together a cost breakdown for all our floral arrangements.

For those brides who are DIYing real flowers the day before the wedding — HOW are you doing it?! For real, I want to know!

Invitation Inspiration

I've mentioned before that I'm designing our invitation suite. And ya'll, it's finished and it's legendary. I love them. I can't wait to get the prints so I can show them off! In the meantime, I've decided to show you some of the invitation ideas that inspired me. We pulled bits and pieces from some of these to create our suite, and added in our own elements as well.

via The Budget Savvy Bride / from Nonpareil Magazine issue #5

via Bridal Buzz / from Cheerupcherup on Etsy

via 100 Layer Cake / DIY labels by Mika 78
(Obviously not invites, but the scalloping is so cute!)

via Style Me Pretty / Photo by Steve Steinhardt

via Style Me Pretty / Designs by Viola at Chewing The Cud

Mrs. French Fries' invitations / Designed by Mrs. Gloss

via 100 Layer Cake / Designs from Minted / Left, by Design Lotus; Right, by Cheree Berry Paper

via The Knot / Photo by Jasmine Star Photography

via 100 Layer Cake / Invitation by Gus & Ruby Letterpress

via Style Me Pretty / Invitation by Sweet Letter Press

Oooooh I want so badly to show ya'll our design now! How am I going to be able to keep it a secret? I am bad at holding in things I'm excited about!

What inspires you?

Single Ladies

Of course I'm doing a bouquet toss. I've been made to stand up at every single wedding I've been to, even since I got engaged, and it's time for revenge! I want people to CRAWL FOR IT! :-D Hee hee.

I purchased some random pink and maroon flowers awhile back in an attempt to find something Mr. H would like for the groomsmen boutonnieres, and he didn't like any of them. I put them back in the Hobby Lobby bag and forgot about them, and I rediscovered them months later. I haven't decided whether or not I want to throw my actual bouquet for our bouquet toss, so I figured I could create a toss bouquet and decide later. :)

I started out by following Mom Hyena's technique for my real bouquet: arrange the stems the way you want them, and rubber band them together.

So much easier than last time! (Also, about 1/4 as many flowers...) Then, I trimmed the stems so they were all even, then wrapped the whole thing up in pink ribbon. It looked a little plain, so I spiraled some pilfered green ribbon around the pink, and hot glued it all together.

Heads up!

You know you love my "100% baaaaaaaaad" sheep pajamas. Hee hee.

I guess I've covered all my bases when it comes to the bouquets. Last time Hyena Sis came into town, I tossed it to her, and she said the end was a little sharp, so I'll trim the wire in the stems or stick something on it so I don't end up putting someone's eye out.

I haven't totally decided what music I'd like to play during the bouquet toss. I've always liked Beyonce's "Single Ladies," but I think it's a little overused. I'm considering using this song, even though it's kind of old:

What do you think? What song are you using for the bouquet toss?

And I Don't Even Know My Last Name

I honestly have no opinion in the whole name-change debate. I like my current name. I like Mr. Hyena's last name. Both are difficult to pronounce, and they're both about the same length. I think my main attachment to my current name is that I'm used to it. And you know change is always bad. ^_~

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So I had a conversation with Mom Hyena. I was contemplating Changing My Name vs. Hyphenating (for a ridiculously long, ridiculously difficult-to-pronounce name), and she had an interesting perspective. I asked her if she had ever thought about not changing her name when she married H-Dad, and she said no, things like that "just weren't done" back then. Of course you take your husband's name; why wouldn't you?

But the kicker, and honestly the most realistic answer I've heard thus far, is that sometimes it is better to change your name simply because it would cause problems if you didn't.

Let me explain that a little better ... I like to think I'm nontraditional, but I am marrying a man who is very traditional. And even though he often tells me to do what makes me happy, keeping my current name is likely to cause more harm than good. No attachment to my current name is enough to make me want to do that.

Are you changing your name? Why or why not?

Hello, Cupcake!

I've already talked about our cakes, but while wandering around Target with a friend one night, I stumbled upon these two books:

(source for both)

Ya'll, there are so many adorable cupcake decorating ideas in these books! I knew I had to share them. Also, there's step-by-step directions not only for the correct way to frost/decorate cupcakes, but for each idea. Awesome, because otherwise I would never be able to figure it out!

Anyone DIYing a cupcake tower? There were so many ideas in these books that I'd never even considered before in cupcake decorating. Check it out:

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Do I spy a potential groom's (cup)cake?

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So prettyyyy. I think everyone should make cute cupcakes. And send them to me. So I can eat them for breakfast right now. :)

Are you doing cupcakes instead of a cake? What will they look like?

Mom Jeans

Mom Hyena is notorious for ruining pictures by putting her hand in front of her face. With that preface, my parents have a running joke that they use to rile me up whenever we have wedding conversations. It goes like this, every single time:

Mom Hyena: "I'm not going to the wedding if I have to be in pictures!"

H-Dad: "Well, I'm not going if I have to dance!"

Mom Hyena: "I'll go if I can wear jeans!"

(Laughter all around.)

Well, clearly jeans will not do, so Mom Hyena and I planned to go shopping while I was in Dallas. We headed out to the mall, which is my mom's least favorite place on earth. We trekked through J.C. Penneys, Macy's, Dillards and Nordstrom's with no results. The closest we came was this, from Dillards:

Very pretty, but she was afraid it was too fancy. Also, she's wearing her jeans under this dress. :)

After our trek, our tootsies exhausted and our tummies hungry, the last stop was the bridal store where I got my wedding dress, not five minutes from home.

We could have saved a lot of time if we'd just gone there in the first place! Because I bought my dress there, I get a 15 percent discount on any other purchases we make. I think this might be a bridesmaid dress, technically, but it's very appropriate anyway, since Mom Hyena is cute, and she looked cute in it. :) No pictures allowed in the bridal store, but here's a picture of the dress in the color we ordered it in:

image via Bill Levkoff

The salesgirl at the bridal store told us something I didn't know, so I'll pass it along to ya'll: The mothers aren't supposed to match the rest of the bridal party. Who knew? Instead, they're supposed to choose a complementary color that is more neutral and season-appropriate. We chose green since we're using that as an accent color. I haven't seen Mom Hyena this excited about a dress ... well, ever! Adios, jeans!

Any other wisdom out there about picking dresses for the moms? And would anyone else's mom wear jeans if they had the chance? :)

I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby.

I don't know how this will work with my veil, or whatever hair style I end up choosing, but I waahaahaaaaant a hair flower. I NEED one. I don't know why, but I will not rest until I get one! I've yet to make any purchases from Etsy, but that was the first place I looked for some purty hair doodads, and here's what I came up with:

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Or maybe I want a little pop of color. Do I want a maroon pop? My shoes and bouquet are pink...

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Oooh shiny! I love them! I want them all!

How would you/did you pull off a hair flower with a veil? Both together? Hair flower only for the reception?