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Thursday, September 2, 2010

On Large Families and Letting Go

I recently had a major meltdown. We were trying to figure out who we needed to invite to the rehearsal dinner. While we'd love to invite everyone coming from out of town, about three-fourths of our guests are coming from at least two hours away, and we unfortunately can't accommodate everyone. The rehearsal dinner was not the reason for the meltdown, but rather the breaking point.

My bridesmaids are all really far away, and I feel like I'm doing the bulk of planning on my own. I think I'm doing all right so far, and everyone keeps commenting on how on top of things I am. But because I'm alone in planning today, I'm assuming — incorrectly — that I'll be alone the day of. We're not going to have a day-of coordinator, other than the one provided at the church. For the reception though, we're on our own.

I'd compiled a list of things (so far) that needed to get done the morning of the wedding, and when I looked at the list, I couldn't help but realize that if I did all those things on my own, there was no way I was going to be happy and stress-free. I'm getting married at two o'clock in the afternoon, and I don't want to run around that morning trying to get things set up in multiple locations on top of trying to be stress-free and doing the things I ACTUALLY need to do, like getting purty and enjoying time with the friends that I rarely get to see.

Mr. Hyena took my computer away from me and took control of my "duties to assign" Excel list. He deleted my name from all the cells I had put it in. But! If not for me, then who will take care of all these little details that no one but me cares about?!

Mr. H has a large family. He has six sets of aunts and uncles who all live within five minutes of each other a short two-hour drive away from us. It's perfectly reasonable to assume that most (if not all) of them will be at the wedding. So, like countless cousins before us, he picked a couple of them that we could get to help out setting up, so as not to overwhelm anyone and make sure that everyone still has a great time at the wedding. He assured me that they would get everything done, and that likely they would have a very long meeting with us in advance to make sure everything would be done right. And we went through and assigned the duties.

Now, I just have to step back and let go.

Are you hiring a DOC?

1 comment:

  1. Nope! I just can't justify the expense with so many people who - believe me - are more than willing to help out. I went back to find the email my aunt sent out a few days prior to my cousin's wedding re: who would be handling what - like my mother was responsible for going to the florist, picking up the flowers and giving them to the bridal party and family. I think that as long as everyone is very clear on what needs to be done and feels appreciated, it can go very smoothly without a coordinator :-)

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