Mr. Hyena and I had always intended to combine our bank accounts after the wedding. At that point, it seemed like a "what's mine is yours" situation — there was no legitimate reason to
not combine accounts.
Except that we got married almost eight months ago and never got around to merging anything before now. We knew that it was something we both wanted. It would allow our household to run more efficiently and allow us to take control of our future in a more proactive way.
And yet I cried on the way to the bank, clinging to my measly checking account tighter than Gollum's grip on the Ring.
No! You cannot have the Precious!
It's been quite difficult for me to reconcile that what's mine really is ours. Our life together. Our best interests. Our money. I have been more than content to let Mr. Hyena's paycheck be "our" money while hoarding my paycheck as "mine." I claim to have absolute faith in our relationship, but my actions have shown otherwise.
We've committed to a lifetime together, and I can't erase years of independence, but I'm learning my needs don't always come before his, and his don't always come before mine. I can't constantly focus on what
I want to do and
my goals while arguing with my partner that his need to feel secure — through different means than mine — isn't the best for us. He needs his equal say.
"For better or worse" doesn't mean that one of us has it better or worse than the other. We're in this together. We've always been in this together.
Are you and your partner merging bank accounts after (or before) the wedding? Is anyone else struggling with their sense of independence when it comes to finances?
